I Don’t Have to Do Sh…!

The topic of “I don’t have to do sh… – why you don’t need to follow every trend” has been on my mind for a long time. The pressure to keep up with everything is everywhere—whether in business, daily life, or hobbies. This “I must” mentality creates immense stress and pressure. I know this because I used to be one of those “I must” people for years. Even now, I sometimes catch myself thinking that way.

Here are some typical “I must” thoughts that used to stress me out—and how I handle them today:

I must be visible.

You don’t have to be visible to be successful. It really depends on what you want to do. For years, I worked in online business (quite successfully, actually), and nobody knew who I was. In fact, in the industry I was in, being invisible was even better. My initial visibility only brought me trouble, legal warnings, and stress. As a result, I did everything I could to stay invisible. Yes, that’s possible, too…

This doesn’t mean that visibility isn’t important—if you want to position yourself as an expert, it can help. But it’s not a black-and-white issue. Think of visibility as a continuum: You can show up when and how it suits you without constantly going live or posting on social media every day.

So: I can choose to be visible—if I want to. But I don’t have to.

I must make (live) videos.

No, you don’t! If you’re not comfortable in front of the camera, maybe it’s just not your medium—and that’s perfectly fine. There are many ways to share your message, and video is just one of them. Just because videos and livestreams are currently all the rage doesn’t mean they’re right for you.

I used to stress myself out about making videos because I thought I had to. Until one day I said, “Screw it. That’s not me.” And suddenly, I felt like trying it—and that was okay too. And I ended up building a successful yoga YouTube channel.

So: I can make videos—if I feel like it.

I must be active on social media.

It seems like social media is the only way to succeed these days. But the truth is: You don’t have to be on all the platforms! If social media stresses you out or doesn’t feel right for you, there are other ways to reach your target audience. Whether through SEO, email marketing, networking, or even writing books—there are plenty of alternatives to being constantly active on Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok.

So: I can be active on social media—but I don’t have to!

I must have a podcast.

Podcasts are all the rage right now, and it feels like everyone must have one. But here’s the thing: Just because it’s “in” doesn’t mean it’s right for you. If you enjoy podcasting and it works for you, that’s great! But if it stresses you out or simply isn’t your thing, there’s no reason to jump on the bandwagon.

So: I can have a podcast—but only if I really want to!

I must earn six or seven figures.

There’s this big myth in online business that you’re only successful if you earn six or seven figures. But success looks different for everyone. Maybe for you, success means working less, spending more time with your family, or living a stress-free life. It’s not always about “bigger, faster, better”—it’s about what feels right for you.

So: I can earn as much as I want—but I don’t have to hit six or seven figures!

I must constantly create content.

The pressure to constantly churn out new content for blogs, social media, or newsletters is immense. But quality trumps quantity. It’s more important to share content that provides real value than to get stuck in the hamster wheel of endless content production. Plan thoughtful, valuable posts that help your audience instead of pushing yourself to publish under constant pressure.

So: I can create amazing content—but I don’t have to publish something every day!

I must always keep learning.

It often feels like we constantly need to take new courses, earn certifications, or expand our knowledge to stay relevant. Education is important, but what’s even more important is putting what we learn into practice. Sometimes we learn more through doing and through our experiences than through the next course.

So: I can keep learning—but I don’t have to take every course to be valuable!

This leads to:

I must take a course in XYZ before I can offer it.

I see this problem especially among women, and I’m not immune to it myself. Of course, some things require solid training, but sometimes it’s just insecurity that drives us to take one course after another before we start taking action.

The key is to ask yourself: Do I really need this? Is it a must-have or just a nice-to-have? What experience do I already have that I can bring to the table? Experience is often worth far more than the umpteenth certification on paper.

Since I’ve started asking myself these questions, I’ve become much more intentional about my training, I absorb much more, and I’m more relaxed—and I save money too 😉 Plus, I take action more quickly!

I must always be available.

Many solopreneurs think they need to be available for their clients 24/7 to be successful. But constant availability quickly leads to burnout and stress. Instead, you can set specific times for communication and availability. Set clear boundaries to protect your own energy while still being effective in your work.

So: I can have times when I’m available—but I don’t have to be always on!

I must do everything myself.

As a solopreneur, it often feels like you have to do everything on your own. But that’s not true. It’s perfectly okay to get help—whether through outsourcing, delegation, or collaborating with other entrepreneurs. You don’t have to do it all to be successful.

So: I can ask for help—I don’t have to do everything alone!

I must run farther, faster, higher.

And last but not least, an example from running, which is a big part of my life: The “I must” thoughts started creeping into my training, and I thought I had to run farther, rack up more kilometers and elevation gain, and sign up for the wildest ultratrails. Until I realized I was doing it all because of this “I must” mentality. The same thing happened with the thought that I had to get faster or chase a certain rank. It usually backfired and just led to stress. My best, fastest, and most successful runs were the ones where the process and the joy of running itself were the most important, where I just had fun and enjoyed the experience.

So: Do things because they’re fun, not because you feel you have to!

I must be perfect.

Yeah, my biggest limiting belief. But 100% perfect doesn’t exist—how many projects have failed because of that? Since I’ve been letting go of that, I feel so much lighter!

So: Screw perfectionism and just get started!

And yes, this blog post is far from perfect either… but screw it 😉